I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option

If someone gave you a book titled "The woman with the black hat", would you assume it's about a witch? What about "The woman with the tall black hat"? See, I think that would make me picture a woman with a Lincolnesque (forgive my neologism, but I think Lincolnesque should be a word.) stovepipe hat. But "The woman with the tall pointy black hat" is just too obvious and obviously too long for a book title. No, "The woman with the black hat" is just right, it’s descriptive and mysterious. Is she a witch, is she a widow...

What? You don’t seriously expect my ramblings to mean something do you? Do you not know me at all.

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Every time I make that drive between here and San Diego I curse those people who jump into the carpool lane when the freeway slows down. No, not all of them just the ones who do it illegally. When the freeway slows to 40 and the carpool is still going 55 (actual numbers have been changed to protect my innocence) they all start crossing that magic double yellow line like it doesn't exist. It's a double yellow line people! I mean that's practically a brick wall in road paint language!

It's not that they get in front of me, it's that it's unsafe. No, really, it causes accidents when a slow car without enough room to get up to speed just jumps in front of faster traffic, I mean it's basic physics (isn't it?). ANYWAY, I digress.

I always say, where are the CHPs, why doesn't someone get caught? I mean really why have laws when no ones ever around to enforce them, except of course when it's me that's strayed slightly off the 60MPH mark..... Well, finally the other day vindication. I'm heading south on the 405 and traffic has of course slowed to a crawl, when an uppity little black sedan jumps into the carpool lane illegally three cars ahead of me. When from out of nowhere, out of the midst of dense 405 traffic comes a CHP car. He snaps in neatly behind the offender and gives him the quick 'wah, wah' siren and turns on his flashing lights. Of course, moron in the black sedan starts to stop right there in the carpool lane! After a few seconds of gesturing the CHP gets the idiot to start making his way to the right shoulder. All of us in the carpool lane are doing little happy cheers in our cars. As I drive past 'uppity' I see that even better than the double yellow violation, the guy is ALONE in the car! Carpool violation $341, crossing the double yellow line another fine, having a CHP in the right place at the right time PRICELESS!