A Second Taste

Mr. Crumb's was a fabulous bake shop near the NIU campus. They made the best oatmeal raisin cookies and oh so much more. I always loved their sandwiches too, but there was usually only one or two people working behind the counter and sandwiches, as you'll see, took a while. Sadly Mr. Crumb's closed its doors a few years ago, and those cookie recipes are gone forever.

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Ahhh, Lunch - Posted May. 9, 2003

Went to Mr. Crumb’s today for lunch where a young man we'll call 'flirty college boy' or FCB for short, was behind the counter. FCB was a true sandwich artist. You'll see.

“I’d like a turkey sandwich on a croissant with honey mustard, muenster, lettuce and tomato.”

“Ok” he says smiling sweetly and heads over to the sandwich counter (his palette). Once there and in the right frame of mind he carefully chooses a croissant from a bin and proceeds to, very meticulously butterfly it.

“Did you want honey mustard or hot and sweet mustard? Not that you need any more sweetness.” He delivers smoothly.

(Cute, very charming, but I'm pretty sure I said honey mustard.) “Honey.”

“Yes dear?” he replies, now grinning like an idiot. Man, I walked right into that one didn't I.

Return my best un-amused un-smile.

“Would you like mayo too?” he asks, ‘mayo’ bottle poised over my not- so-soon-to-be sandwich

Freeze frame a second...Ok, I know some of you have heard this rant before but, why oh why is it that some people do not know the difference between Mayonnaise and Salad Dressing (a.k.a. Sandwich Spread, a.k.a. Miracle Whip)? Can they not taste the difference? Once when ordering a sandwich here at Mr. Crumb’s I was asked if I wanted Mayo on my sandwich. I asked the young woman if it was REAL MAYONNAISE or some sort of sandwich spread wanna-be. She said, “Oh, no it’s real”. I said ok. Well, you know, of course it was Miracle Whip, rendering the sandwich ruined and completely inedible. Now back to our show...

“NO” I say sharply to stop him from squeezing the poison onto my sandwich.

“Sorry” he mumbles. And I then, by way of apology, have to launch into the speech. I have to once again educate another person on the difference between…

Then comes the lettuce. Each leaf selected, inspected and judged. Those that pass inspection are carefully and almost lovingly placed on the prepared bread in an intricate pattern designed to render full coverage of total sandwich surface. Those leaves not passing the rigorous inspection process are ruthlessly crumpled and tossed in the waste bin. I wish I could more articulately explain the time consuming process this actually was, but that would make this not so interesting story that much longer and less interesting.

“What else did you want?”

“Muenster.”

Cheese process less lengthy but since cheese is cut square and croissant is, well, croissant shaped; there was a careful bending/breaking/shaping process for each of three carefully placed slices.

Knowing what’s coming I say “Tomato”.

Two slices carefully placed. Now, I begin to rethink my beverage. Was going to order a large breve latte with a double shot of vanilla to take back to my frigid office. However, my mind reels at the thought of spending another 10 minutes waiting for that! Not to mention having to watch the slow arduous process this would no doubt be. (Insert mental screaming and incoherent babbling here.)

“Chips or pickle?”

“Chips.”

“Beverage”

“Large Coke”

“Anything else for you today” he smiles his best charming smile.

(Aaahhhh, god no, nothing else, please, I only get an hour for lunch!!)

“That’s it thanks” I smile at him praying he can add and make change.