Just like girlfriends and wives…

So I’ve been in Illinois for 10 days. Spending time with J and the Ya-ya’s and doing a tiny bit of shopping. (Man you can drop quite a chunk of cash at those baby stores! They have such cuuute clothes!)

So anyway, I’ve been driving ‘The Beast’ around all week and been very careful of how far and how long I drive. I filled it up the other day and it cost me $105! So, yeah, careful planning and multitasking when running errands.

So last night I went to start ‘The Beast’ and it made a weird jack-hammery sound but didn’t start. Lights and radio came on but not the truck. I was sure it was the starter or alternator. So I’m thinking ‘Great, I leave for Calif on Monday, tomorrow is Sunday and now I have truck trouble.’

I waited for 11pm so I could wake S up at 6am and ask him what he thought I should do. His diagnosis was that it was the battery and he advised getting a jump start and then going out to buy a new battery.

So this morning I called AAA and asked them to come out and jump start the truck.

Now AAA is a fabulous service, but let’s face it, you don’t call AAA if you’re in a hurry. I called them at 9 a.m. and they said they’d have someone out within the hour, they just didn't say withing which hour. Well you know how AAA hours can be very elastic. They finally arrived in the 11:00 hour at 11:40 to be precise.

The tow truck driver was a funny little fellow, sort of short and balding with that ‘deliverance’ look to his face. You know the look I mean? The one they invented that bumper sticker for, you know the bumper sticker that reads 'You! Out of the gene pool!'

When he gets out of his truck and comes over to mine, he runs his hand loving along the length of the whole truck and says, ‘This is a sweet truck.’

‘Yeah, I like it.’ I say, bracing for what I know will come next.

‘Is this the 4 wheel drive?’ he asks to open the question and answer session I’ve become familiar with.

‘Yes it is.’ I answer, thinking, would you (or could you) buy a beast this big and not have it be 4 wheel drive?

The questioning continues with ‘Is this the heavy duty? Did you get the tow package? What size engine does it have? How much horse power? What kind of mileage do you get? …’

Now, although over time I’ve become accustomed to the questions and have even learned the answers to some of them, I really just want to reply ‘Look, I just drive the thing, I didn’t build it nor do I maintain it. Do I look like a guy to you?’

Anyway, the guy drags out the longest set of jumper cables I’ve ever seen in my life, and hooks up the two trucks to them. My truck starts up right away and he advises me to leave it running. (duh!) Then, however, I end up spending an addition 10 minutes with the tow guy in a bizarre conversation about truck maintenance.

‘Your truck is in great shape for being a 2000, you can really tell that someone takes care of it.’

‘Yeah, well my husband is very meticulous that way.’ I reply, watching as the word ‘meticulous’ bounces around his head and gets spit right back out with no meaning attached to it.

‘Yeah, well some people just don’t take care of their cars. You have to put something into them if you want them to keep running, machines aren’t meant to run on their own all the time without any care. I tell people that all the time, you can’t expect your car to run forever if you don’t take care of it. I mean you couldn’t just go on all day without food or sleep could you, no you need care and your car should be treated the same way. Just like if you have a girl or a wife if you ignore them all the time, they’ll just leave and then your stuck. You gotta take care of your car just like girlfriends and wives…’

Did I say it was a conversation? It was a more like a rambling monologue. But the man was a sage I tell you.