So it begins...

"Excuse me sir, but do you have a whole turkey?" said in my very bestest and most politest French.

"A whole turkey?! Bah! Phbt. That would weigh 15 or 20 kilos!" said in his snootiest French - but you can imagine it in a strong and derisive French accent.

Brightening at this response and mentally wringing my hands in anticipation I ask with a stupid grin on my face, "So do you have one?"

"No! You crazy American woman!" responds the butcher. Ok, he didn't actually say the last part but he was thinking it, it was in his eyes, I saw it.

On Saturday S dragged me to the grocery store to shop for turkeys. I had been putting it off. First, because I had seen them in the stores and was confident we could find one and second, I don't have the fridge space for a large bird or even two smaller ones. I figured we'd waltz into the market and pick one up on Wednesday night and be set. S however was beginning to panic, remembering last years near fruitless search for Thanksgiving dinner.

We found all the ingredients we needed for Thursday's feast, except for the turkey. We went to every giant grocery store in the area and we were now at our second to the last stop. We looked over what was available and decided to go ahead and purchase a turkey breast in case we crapped out in the great turkey gamble. (Which would go down in the annals of holiday lore as the year Missy got cocky and we had no turkey for the great Thanksgiving party.)

We purchased one giant turkey breast that weighs in at 8.3 lbs. Damn I would have loved to have had that turkey! Did consider buying the other breast and having 16+ pounds of meat instead of a 20 lb turkey, but it's the whole tradition thing, you really have to have a whole bird, don't you?

Well, last stop and we have over the time of one long morning and several 'hyper marches' found all the ingredients on our list except for the elusive turkey.

S drops me at the front door of the 'centre commercial' so I can run in and scope out the prospects without our having to circle for 30 minutes trying to park. I go in with fingers crossed and hike the quarter mile to the back of the store where the butcher shop is and take a number.

As I wait patiently (right) I peruse the wares and I see several whole 'creatures' ranging from small hens to rabbits to chickens to ducks. And then I see it, something slightly larger than a duck; is it a large chicken, a large duck? I wait and keep an eye on my prize. The woman ahead of me sensing the direction of my gaze decides that she too would like to go for the only whole turkey in the place and she asks the butcher some questions about it. (I think evil thoughts at her, but she ignores the waves of discontent crashing secretly over her.) The butcher lifts my bird out of the ice where it is waiting for me and they chat about it, discussing its faults and virtues. Then the butcher, sensing my murderous gaze (and some of the evil thoughts that accidentally splashed over on him), convinces the woman that a few turkey legs would better suit her purposes and moves her along down the counter after depositing my prey back into its icy bed.

After wrapping up the woman's turkey legs and sending her on her way, the butcher returns to me with a conciliatory look in his eyes but with a mocking grin on his lips. He was toying with me! If he knew me he would know that that is not wise, but he doesn't so I'll cut him some slack, and besides that, I'm too happy to generate too much more evil.

Well, weighing in at a whopping 12.7 lbs. our turkey is hardly a turkey it's more like an overgrown chicken, but what the heck, it's whole and it's the right shape.

So this morning I'm tricking my language coach, Elian, into coming over and helping me cook. We will cook in French. And that way I can get a jump on cooking potatoes and yams and can start on the raw veggie tray veggies. We'll also get the pie crusts made and be ready to get the turkeys done tomorrow.

Of course this morning I woke up with what I'll call a 'stress cold'. You know, stress lowers your immunity and leaves you wide open for germs. So I've maxed out on vitamin C and Echinacea and am moving on with my day.

Last night we brought in the table from outside and the bad news is that it will only accommodate 10 chairs. We will work out the logistics today and set the table. Final count is only 13 adults (don't tell anyone, the French are very superstitious about sitting at dinner with 13, will try to drag in another stranger for dinner or something.) and 4 small children.

I'll take photos and report next week. S and I are off for a four day weekend in Paris, first thing Friday morning, so I'll report all next week.

It's mom's birthday today so call her and wish her a happy one! She's ## today!

That is all.